You Don't Know Jack!

                                                              
There is a  long standing friend of mine...Jack Mettier. We taught together in the art department for decades. We've been through a lot. I don't think Jack would mind my describing him as an often blustering curmudgeon, frustrated by negative influences and quick to realize and be influenced by poor administrative decisions and educational forces that tend to undermine positive, creative efforts of teachers and students alike. He could storm around a campus with all others scampering to get out of his way as he carried his frustrations and angst on his sleeve as well as his lined, scowling face. But you needed to know Jack. He was so creative and inspired creativity in students that stayed with him in his art classes for years. He was a great soccer coach. Jack is parenting his adopted grandchildren at an age most men are happy to hug theirs and then send them on their way with a grandfatherly wave. Jack, who has unsuccessfully and unendingly tilted at educational windmills for an entire career, now culls through endless web humour and inspiration to send me daily the best of his searches, some of which I appreciate completely. He sent me this yesterday...a remembered list of his highlighted fond memories of our friendship. I live on the other side of the world, often feel too remote and disconnected from many that I love, and I, like most of us do (and Jack himself did professionally)...feel marginalized or weighted down by our immediate challenges or failures. This simple list sent to me by a friend, to remind me of our love for each other, has lifted my spirits all week. Take time to write a good friend, a loved one, and remind them why they've been important in your life. It's the best gift giving you'll do this week.

John....a reminder
 Group hugs on the 15^th after my 12^th stroke,

LVC (Law of the Vacant Chair)and Lunch splatter on Timmy’s shirt at the round table,

Camaraderie and laughs at break time,

Single malt treats,

Sneak out lunches with Rich at Lolo’s on Thursdays,

Margie’s worry about us ending up lost in Ireland if we got on the Whiskey Trail,

Agreeing to disagree and then working together for the better good,

Hugs and kisses instead of handshakes,

Importance of humor that is kept and shared,

“Players” never - “Competitors” always!,

“I love babies – let’s go meet your new granddaughter”…..12 years ago,

Sunshine, rainbows, rain and snow, light years of oceans away,

Important memories to keep so that friends are never lost.

What Is It Really?

Sorry I haven't been on my blog for awhile! I actually optioned a script to BBC and have been working on that...plus it's been an emotionally challenging time for me. But reminded by my daughter that there are two or three readers out there, I thought I'd tackle the great question of all writers and philosophers...what is this thing called love? The answer is never definitive, and everyone adds to it. I've been thinking a lot about love, almost constantly lately, and here are the few views I am, or have been, fortunate enough to experience.

I want to help you realize a dream...every one of them.

My pride in standing behind you is equal to standing at your shoulder
or leading the way.

Times can be hard, but I know we can make them better together.

Every moment is opportunity, no restrictions, no denials, no limits,
no fear of failure.

All pain is shared, experienced, released, and dispersed.

Joy is abundant, achievable, and increased with you.

I am so deeply aware of my gratitude.

Physical touch always brings peace, excitement, pleasure.

I am a better person with you.

I get you when others don't, I see you when others can not.

I want to share everything with you.

I'll wait for you.

Romance and Burns Night

Robert Burns is the poet laureate of Scotland, and the entire world celebrates his poetry this month. Burn's Night is a great excuse for most of us to wear a kilt, have a dram of whisky, hear the bagpipes, and generally enjoy an evening of friends and song. But there is more going on here. Romance is celebrated on Burn's Night. I think the romantic soul should be celebrated every night. It's much bigger than that flush of sexual attraction and the joy at just being in the presence of someone who makes you feel alive and safe and in love...even though those feelings are among the very best in the human experience. That kind of romance is ageless, and can be felt and shared by teenagers and octogenarians alike. But in the imperfect world, romance is a choice of focus for men and women. This is where I could go completely off topic and discuss the difference between boys and men, and girls and women...but suffice it to say that men and women see a bigger picture of sacrifice and loss, and still choose romance. Matthew Arnold wrote about that choice in his poem Dover Beach, as a soldier is remembering his country and family before engaging in battle...
                              Ah, love, let us be true
                              To one another! for the world, which seems
                              To lie before us like a land of dreams,
                              So various, so beautiful, so new
                              Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,
                              Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain;
                              And we are here as on a darkling plain
                              Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,
                              Where ignorant armies clash by night.
The world of Robert Burns was no different than now in regards to the condition of mankind, but he reminds us of the beauty of nature, the common experiences of being a man, and certainly the importance of romance as a very real choice and focus. We all know 'that' married couple that have been through hardship and loss and still choose love...still choose beauty. They are the adult romantics, and have that richness of character in their relationships that we all should aspire to. So raise your dram of scotch to your lover and choose romance on Burn's Night and every night thereafter.

                                            A Red, Red Rose
                             O my Luve is like a red, red rose
                                          That's newly sprung in June;
                             O my Luve is like the melody
                                          That's sweetly played in tune.

                             So fair art thou, my bonnie lass,
                                          So deep in luve am I;
                             And I will have thee still, my dear,
                                          Till a' the seas gang dry.

                             Till a' the seas gang dry, my dear,
                                          And the rocks melt wi' the sun;
                             I will luve thee still, my dear,
                                          While the sands o' life shall run.

                            And fare thee weel, my only luve!
                                         And fare thee weel awhile!
                            And I will come again, my luve,
                                        Though it were ten thousand mile.             Robert Burns

Wonder Woman

I was thinking today of the powerful women it has been my good fortune to know in my life. There are so very many. I have been blessed with many wonderful male friends, but I seem to have always enjoyed the friendships and company of women. Certainly their influences in my life are immeasurable and ongoing. My mother Jane Lambie was a 'power woman'. She was highly educated, taught music as well as physical education and English. She supported a military husband, raised three children to love arts, books, and all of her kids have pursued varied interests with success. Her optimism and joy are with me. My Grandmother Jesse was another music teacher, and highly educated at a time when most women were not. Even her mother, my great grandmother, had a college education.

Debbie Lagomarsino is a power woman as a teacher and community volunteer, world traveller, musical director, president of the world organization Up With People. Debbie has been a musical director for countless organizations that, on the short list, include San Luis Obispo Little Theatre, Cuesta College, Pioneer Players, Paso Robles High School. Debbie taught in the local elementary schools as well as overseas in Jakarta and Saudi Arabia.  She has provided music and volunteer fundraising support to every women's and community organization on the central coast of California. Debbie continues to shape other's lives in positive ways she doesn't even realize. Yup, some power women are pretty humble.

Debbie and John

Anet Carlin is a power woman, heck she's a power woman if she's in a room filled with power women. Anet is a drama teacher, producer, director, and has founded theatre companies anywhere she stops long enough to pour a cup of tea or think of a new project. I suspect if stopping world hunger was something I wanted to devote my life to, I'd begin by enlisting Anet as my partner. She could produce any project successfully. 

Anet

And then there's Sarah Greenman. If there was a therapy group for overachievers anonymous she'd be giving testimony at every meeting. Sarah's an actress, director, award winning playwright, doula (look it up), certified masseuse, designer, blogger, mother, and is certainly helping some couple in their birth process as you read this. She's one of those women that is too busy, and wildly successful at every new project. If you have something that needs getting done and done correctly, give it to a power woman like Sarah.

Sarah and son Walker

Cynthia Anthony has been an inspiration to me for nearly twenty years, and I have known her in several capacities. A professional actress after college, Cynthia became a founder of the CAT theatre company in Paso Robles. She's an incendiary actress equally at home in a farcical comedy or in a heavy dramatic lead. Cynthia was the Managing Director of no less than three other local theatre companies, putting each on their feet professionally and creatively. Another of her favourite charges was marketing director of a California opera company.  She is still raising three children who are in creative artistic professions.

Cynthia often works in her husband's medical practice as needed,and volunteers with women's organizations in her community. Late in life she decided that her degree in Theatre was insufficient, and she has attended college and completed an on line universitiy program that has lead to a teaching credential. For many years she has been a volunteer, then teaching assistant, then substitute teacher, and  Drama Teacher and director at Paso Robles High School. And we are just scratching the surface of her life experiences.

If hard work, self discipline, and sheer force of character builds Power Women, they don't come any stronger than the Scottish lass, Jacoline McDairmid. She was a flight attendant for many years. Jacoline now works at several jobs simultaneously to support her two teenage children, connect to her community, and provide service to countless women in the north-east of Scotland. You will find Jacoline at the GlenDronach Distillery running the visitors center, conducting tours and serving as a special events coordinator. In the evenings, she teaches Jazzercise classes and aerobics. Jacoline coaches a cross country running team for youngsters, teaching them to set personal goals an helping them prepare for competitions. She cares for her mother, a recent stroke victim, who is courageously going through a recovery process.  And in Jacoline's spare time, which is usually long before the sun comes up, she trains on the roads and byways for miles and miles, and is currently the third ranking senior women's triathlete and runner in Scotland. 

Jacoline

And that's a short list! Vena Norton, Jean Lange, Barbara Bowman, Connie Atkinson, Nikki Bond, Deb Bremner, Benita Gold, Lori Harmon, Ellen Finch, Helen Harrison, Kaylinda Mabry, Polly Carrick, Rita Edens...I can't begin to approach a comprehensive listing. These women influence their communities. Their energy seems endless to the casual observers, but every success, usually, is an act of love. These are Power Women who influence you, inspire you, and make your life better than it could have possibly been without them. All 'power women' seem to have a host of folks who can make similar claims about how their own lives are influenced by them. Well done ladies...well done.