The Negotiator

I have a grandson who likes to talk. Conversation around the dinning table is constant and lead by Walker whenever adult imagination or interest flags. There are countless, and I really mean countless, conversations during the day about his toy sharing plans, potential nap times, determinations of how many books to read before sleep time, what will be eaten, what will be drunk, what will be watched on television, where to spend play time, who should be pushing him on the swing, where others should sit in relationship to his own location, what is the subject of conversation (both those involving him and those which do not), plans for the near future, and ...well you get the idea. Walker is the king of Yickety-Yak. Now don't misunderstand, Walker rarely is outright demanding. His interests and personal desires are usually achieved through a series of seemingly innocuous questions. For example, instead of asking for a piece of the candy he suspects you are sucking on right now, he will ask a series of questions...''What's in your mouth Pa John?''...''Is it good?''....''Do you have more?''....''Would you like me to have one?''....and the closer, ''Would now be a good time for that? Because I'll be taking a nap soon, and you might feel better knowing you shared.''
Walker's logic and conversational skills are really amazing, and often entertaining, for a three year old. When he grows up Walker wants to be a fireman. Mom and Dad are open to any options, but if modelling has any influence on development, he'll likely be an artist or or some such creative professional. Me, I know he'll be a major Negotiator for tactical SWAT teams in hostage situations. This is how the dialogue would go today.

                                 Terrorist
I've got four hostages here and I'll kill them all. I want the cops to pull back...I want a million dollars and a car in one hour OR THEY DIE!
                                 Walker
What if...what if...I get you a train?
                                  Terrorist
TRAIN!? I want a car parked outside, a million dollars, outside the door, one hour!
                                 Walker
I want to play with the car. You can have the train.
                                 Terrorist
What are you!?! Put a man on the phone now!
                                 Walker
You can't have the Thomas train or the diesel, but you can have Percy, no...you can have Hiro. And are there any little boys there?
                                Terrorist
A mother, two boys and a little girl. All dead in one hour if I don't get...
                                Walker
Wait, what if...what if...just listen to me...what if you let the boys come out and play with me...now.
                                Terrorist
ARE YOU NUTS?! You don't make demands, I...
                                Walker
We'll just play for 5 more minutes and then back to you...and...and the boy can bring you the train.
                                Terrorist
I don't want the train! I want the car.
                                Walker
I could let you play with the bus.
                                Terrorist
OK! The BUS! ...One hour or they're DEAD!
                                Walker
Can you send him out now?
                                Terrorist
ONE HOUR!
                                Walker
Why not now? Now we can play. If we play now, we can ride in a bus later. We could...we could...listen to me...we..we could...(long pause)
                                Terrorist
WHAT?...We could what?!
                                Walker
What are you eating? Can I have some nuts and raisins?
                                Terrorist
What? Who are you? People are gonna DIE in here! Money-Car-No Cops-One Hour!!
                                Walker
Do you have pistachios? We should eat. And then play for 5 more minutes. And then...we should...take our nap.
                                 NBC Reporter  (outside the hostages home)
We have activity at the front door!...THEY@RE COMING OUT! The hostages are coming out!! Followed by...the terrorists with their hands in the air. The siege is OVER!